O morning,

Day two of being home... things are settling in again but how I love being home. I've been trying to explain to Becky this feeling that has settled regarding being a parent. Being a parent... in so many ways... sucks. It's a ridiculous amount of work and moments to yourself just don't exist. Not only does it take a toll on you personally but you have the added stress of making sure that these individuals that God entrusted become good little human beings. I was talking with a colleague yesterday about the concept of "Tabula Rasa" (blank slate for those of you not familiar with Erikson). We might not be entirely blank when we come into this world and certainly there are genetic dispositions but I am entirely responsible for the way my children's worldview is shaped. That's effin scary!! Nonetheless, the feeling I referred to earlier is that my attitude has evolved into expecting and taking on that challenge. I don't feel as if I am all that scared anymore but rather that I expect this of myself. Pouring into my children has become less of a duty and more of a privilege. It's pretty cool because in many ways that concept has transformed my daily attitude in that I have a few precious years with these boys to demonstrate to them God's love and gosh dang it I am not going to waste them pissin and moanin about having no time to myself. I am not saying time away isn't important, in fact it's rejuvenating and last week being away really showed me how much I really love my family on a level I did not realize.